The Summer Before

I’ve debated a lot more than I thought I would have in the past few weeks, probably more than I should have.

This treadmill started at queens WSDC, where on a Friday night at the gym, a close friend invited me to fill in for their team. We went on to win that tournament, the good feelings of adrenaline made the Doxbridge with a similar core irresistible. We broke at dox, and although we dropped quarters after waking up at 3am to debate downtown, I could not say I regret a single thing — the memories of Michael’s sign of relief after we were lucky enough to move on, Charlie’s “I told you we would break”, and Sophie’s unadulterating scream of joy as she rushed to embrace us are all moments I’ll cherish.

One of those motions that weekend really stuck with me, or rather an argument we made. It was something about seeing failed relationships as learning experiences. Our argument, albeit one from debateland, said it was toxic to do so because then you’d only rush into another relationship to prove that you had learned. That hedonism probably won’t ever define someone’s pursuit of romance, but I think it sort of does apply to just about everything else.

After dropping quarters that morning, whilst battling through allergies and the urge to just lay down right then and there, I felt an unwavering desire to prove myself worthy, that yarning to validate my own conscience.

(cat is a devil)

…

I decided to ask a long-time acquaintance to debate that weekend, and I think this story really defines why I came back to the circuit. Because whilst we began the weekend by taking a brutal 4th, and a tilting 2nd, we clawed our way back to win the next 6 rounds. I still distinctly remember that moment we found out we had won, a couple friends and I were at a Korean restaurant, reminiscing on the weekend we spent debating at Robarts, complaining about parents, and reeling from the presidential assassination attempt.

The fact that we had done well was delightful whilst it lasted, but it was the connection that two different people on such different life trajectories had built that made everything so meaningful.

…

I always wondered when would be my last blog about debate, every time I’d think the next would be repetitive, I would fear becoming a broken record player. That fact might just be why this activity is still so close to my heart, the fact that I could rediscover someone and form such a meaningful connection – an unlikely friendship if you will.

I’m proud to have gotten to know Ethan, to be able to call him a friend, prouder for what we were able to achieve, the growth and grit that encompassed our story that weekend.

In a couple months, after being put through the pressure cooker of university applications, maybe I’ll look back and say I shouldn’t have gotten back into competitive debating, but I don’t ever doubt I’ll remember those moments of hard-work-pay-off, these moments of fearless tenacity.